Resource Yo' Self — August Edition
Monthly resources, books, tools and updates from Taylor King Therapy to support you Resource Yo' Self (and tend to the deepest parts of you)
🌿 A little check-in from me
Hey friends,
The other day I was listening to a talk by Tara Brach on fear, and she mentioned (something like) that if fear had subtitles, it would say, “about to grow.”
Whilst fear has lots of nuance, this really landed for where I’m at now. I'm presently in a season of my own growth, and with that, I’ve noticed the stirring of my own fears and anxieties.
The growth, on one hand, is so wonderful and moving me towards what feels deeply meaningful, purposeful and rewarding. I have the privilege of working with incredible people, launched my first group container (All Parts Welcome), planned upcoming travels overseas after a 7-year hiatus, and am watering lots of seeds in my other work with Tattoo Pathway, exploring tattooing as a therapeutic and transformational process. Yay, right?!
AND it’s also been so stretching. Growth tends to bring me into contact with all the parts of me that haven’t felt ready — the parts that feel much safer when I stay small, the same, and out of sight. Beliefs that things (and I) need to be perfect. The fear of being judged or disappointing others. The old wounding of not being enough and not belonging to the tribe.
What I come back to during times like these, is that it’s not about getting rid of anxiety, it’s about learning to be with it. And, like any relationship, it requires time, curiosity, and patience.
If anxiety were a guest, how can I invite it to the dinner table and get to know it? What stories am I telling myself about it? What is it trying to tell me? What does it actually need?
At the heart of this is my deep belief — and practice — that when we build a relationship with our anxiety and fears, rather than trying to manage or avoid them, it slowly becomes less of a threat and more of a messenger. One that can points us toward a more intimate relationship with ourselves, our needs, and our self-care.
In a very human way, there’s a subtle invitation to come home to our selves a little bit more.
Take care,
Taylor
🌿 Resource of the Month
This month’s resource is for anyone who finds it hard to rest and do what they enjoy.
Where rest comes with guilt, restlessness, or an overshadowing list of shoulds that make it difficult to stop and do things that lights your heart up rather than things that feel productive or useful to others.
Often, underneath this experience, is a belief that ‘rest’ isn’t okay, isn’t safe, or means something painful about who you are (e.g. unworthy, not valuable etc). Basically, where not resting serves some kind of protective function to feel safe, in control, connected to others, okay about yourself, and avoid uncomfortable emotions and memories. It’s important to recognise that at one point this was an intelligent, adaptive strategy, even if it’s costing you something now (which can also be a rich area to explore).
This pattern can run really deep, so I’d recommend exploring and tending to the roots of this with someone (and I’d love to be that person if you feel called). In the meantime, here are two small practices to experiment with. There is no pass or fail, and all of it’s information - either pointing us towards what is helpful or where more support may be needed.
1. Getting to know the resistance
Rather than overriding the part of you that resists or feels uncomfortable by rest, the intention is to bring it along the journey, tending to its concerns while gently expanding what feels possible.
Internally or in a journal, from a stance of curiosity, take some time to ask the part of you that feels averse or concerned about resting: What would make you more okay with this? What would feel supportive? What would feel like care?
Let this part of you answer without judgment.
It might ask for:
a time limit (”let’s plan for 1 hour of rest/ leisure, then check in”)
a schedule so rest feels less threatening or disruptive
a written list of everything else on your plate as reassurance that those things aren’t being forgotten, just paused
planning something with a friend to make it easier
simply to be acknowledged that this is really hard and uncomfortable,
or something entirely different!
The point isn’t to fix this part of you or negotiate it into silence. It’s to be open to listening, so rest doesn’t feel like you’re doing something against yourself, and more like something you’re doing for yourself.
If rest and leisure is the ultimate desire, what is the first step towards this that honours all parts of you?
2. Write your list ahead of time
When doing something nourishing feels like a privilege you have to earn rather than a need, sometimes it can feel difficult to remember or drop into what you enjoy. A list written before you’re in that moment can be a supportive guide and give some structure to something that feels like chaos.
→ Jot down all the things you’d love to do or get to - walk, read, watch something, call a friend, get a massage, move your body, do art, nap on the couch, have a bath, go to that workshop, breathe for 10 min before coming into the house. It can be big and grand, or short and simple.
Write all of them and keep it on your phone or in a notebook - somewhere easy to find that you can call on when you need to. And if you can, let it act as an offering or invitation to yourself, not another to-do on the list.
🌿 Album Recommendation
Normally, I recommend a book or a podcast, but this week I'd like to recommend my favourite album at the moment. I can’t stop playing it. I listen to this on its own, as a backdrop to guided meditations, when I'm working or studying. I sing to it, write to it, and simply sit with it.
Alex Theory’s album - Earth - is a deep, introspective, calming, mystical, exploratory journey. It travels through my ears, into my heart, calling forth a sense of contemplation, wondering, connectedness, feeling and aliveness. Over “90% of the album is created from acoustic sources, including custom-tuned Tibetan and crystal bowls, a water-based instrument called the Earth drum, and a custom-tuned didgeridoo”.
This album feels like permission to slow down and turn inward.
Listen here.
🌿 Community Clinic
Week of 17-21 August | AUD$50 / 50 mins
If you or someone you know is needing a little extra support and a space to be heard, seen and met exactly as you are, I have community clinic sessions available next week at a lower rate than my usual sessions.
Lately, I’ve been working with people exploring grief, childhood trauma and survival patterns, the golden shadow, relationship patterns and challenges, anger, shame and harsh inner critics, and meeting self with more compassion.
I work holistically, weaving together talk therapy, narrative therapy (looking at beliefs and stories), somatic therapy / body awareness, parts work, and mindfulness and visualisation practices. No trying to fit you into a specific model or tool.
If cost has been a barrier, or if you want to see if we’re a good fit working together, this is a great way to get extra support, try therapy for the first time or experience a new style of therapy!
→ You can book with me here
→ And learn more about our clinic here
🌿 Upcoming time off
If you’ve been sitting with something for a while and wondering whether therapy might be supportive, I do have availability for 1:1 sessions through August and September.
I am taking some time off over this period from Friday 11 September until Monday 12 October, so there’ll be roughly a month’s break. I won’t be offering sessions during this time, and unlikely to be checking messages/ emails.
I do have two days available during that time: Monday 21 Sept and Tuesday 22 Sept.
If any of that sounds like you, please reach out!
→ And learn more about my work here
That’s all from me.
As always, please reply if anything landed, if you’d like to see more or less of something, or if you just want to say hi.